Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Nine Months

Amelia had her nine month birthday on Saturday and we celebrated by getting our Christmas tree! I was a little slow posting the latest pics of our sweet girl, a few days after the fact, but what can I say? We were busy decorating the tree! Here they are especially for Aunt Aimee...






She had her two month post-op visit on November 15th and both surgeons said she looks just great. Her next appointment will be a CT scan in March. You can see the scar showing through her hair a bit in this picture.


At nine months Amelia's latest talents are clapping her hands and waving. She also says "Da Da" very clearly when Brian enters the room. And she sometimes says "Ma Ma Ma" when she cries and wants to be picked up. ;) Still not crawling or pulling up, although she can roll to wherever she wants to be and she is already starting to get into the big kids' stuff. Look out Mya and Owen!!!


Yay for Christmas!!!

Thursday, November 1, 2007

Happy Eight Months!

Amelia's 8 month birthday is today. I'm not sure which is more surprising to me...the fact that is is November already, or the fact that Amelia is 2/3 of the way to being ONE YEAR OLD--slow down little baby!

Anyway, here are her monthly pics (at Grammy's special request!) :)





At eight months Amelia is very busy and interactive: sitting up, eating cheerios, playing with toys. Here are a few more pics of things she's been up to over the past month. She LOVES getting her picture taken, can you tell?

A visit with Grammy and PopPop and her cousins in Virginia


Just hanging around


Finally a picture taken by someone OTHER than Mommy!


Playing "tap tap tap" with her sorting blocks


A car-full of costumes!


Dory, Nemo and Squirt were all decked out for the preschool's "Trunk or Treat" on Halloween. Special thanks my yard-saler friend, Chantel, for finding us these great costumes! (Who is having the most fun in this picture?)


November will be a busy month with Daddy's marathon and Thanksgiving coming up! We'll post more pictures soon...

Monday, October 1, 2007

Seven Months Old



Amelia turned 7 months old today and what a month it's been! After her surgery on the 7th, Amelia has been working on sitting up, trying new foods, grabbing at everything, and cutting 4 new teeth on top (for a total of 6!). She also graduated out of her infant carseat and into the "big girl seat". Recentlly she has become fascinated with the phone, but her favorite pastime is still laughing at her big brother and sister. :)

I can't tell you what a relief it is to be on THIS SIDE of Sept7th, looking back at the surgery and her head healing so nicely. She is doing great. Enjoy the rest of the pics.






Just for comparison, here is last month's picture.

Monday, September 24, 2007

Daddy's Girl



And to think I was worried about whether Amelia would still have any family resemblance after the surgery...

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Two Weeks Post Op



Today I took Amelia back to the hospital for her two week post-op visit. It felt like we had come full circle because we were seeing Dr. Van Aalst in the same exam room we were in for the pre-op appointment exactly two weeks ago. Both Dr. Perry (neuro) and Dr. Van Aalst said she looks great (and we agree)! Brian and I were a little concerned because there appear to be some bulging contours on either side of her forhead, but both doctors explained that those are actually the edges of the skull plates that were moved and there is a space there where the bone will re-grow and eventually connect with the other plate further back on the side of her head. Sounds a little strange, but Dr. Van Aalst said it was left this way in order for her brain be "directing" the growth of her skull and not vice versa. We'll be back to see both doctors again in two months, and Amelia will also have a CT scan scheduled for 6 months post-op.

As for Miss A, she was not at all excited about seeing anyone in scrubs or white coats, no matter how friendly they seemed. She is completely off her pain meds (although we still give her Tylenol now and then--mostly because she is cutting THREE new teeth on top!) and pretty much back to her "normal" self. Her hair is sporting the "wet look" due to the bacitracin we have been putting on her incision (which we can stop as of today) and her incision is already blending in with her hair quite nicely.

Here are a few more pics from her two-week photo shoot. :)





Thursday, September 13, 2007

Prettier by the minute



It has been incredible to witness the transformation in Amelia over the past few days since we came home. It seems like every hour she looks more beautiful and more like herself--although, as Mya observed, "Her head used to look like an oval, now it looks like a circle." ;)

Since we've been home Amelia's favorite place has been in Mommy's arms, and today is the first time she has taken a nap in her crib lasting more than 20 minutes. She has been through a lot, and this is definitely a readjustment period. I had to laugh yesterday though, when I realized that even with the help of Brian, my in-laws and my mom--which I figured worked out to be the equivalent of a housekeeper, a nanny, a personal shopper, and a cook--I STILL never managed to get a nap! That's okay with me though, there's nothing I'd rather be doing right now than holding little Miss Amelia in my arms.

As I think back on the past several days at the hospital, there are moments when I am still somewhat disturbed at the thought of all that Amelia endured during the surgery and just how disfigured she was with the swelling afterward. At the same time I am reminded of how faithful the Lord was to His promise to be with us, and how intimately we felt His presence during that difficult time. Again, Brian and I are inexpressibly grateful for all of you who surrounded us in love and prayers.

Today as took all these emotions to the Lord I felt Him reminding me that so often the kind of healing we need begins with brokenness and the process itself may be disfiguring. He brought to mind the suffering of Christ and the pain and disfigurement He endured for OUR healing to be complete. Isaiah 53 Surely He took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows...and by His wounds we are healed.

Most of all though, my heart is just so full of joy to see the surgery completed and Amelia recovering so well.

Psalm 103
Praise the Lord, O my soul; all my inmost being praise his holy name.
Praise the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits--
who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit
and crowns you with love and compassion,
who satisfies your desires with good things

As Brian keeps saying, "We are so blessed!"

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Amelia at Home

Here are some pictures of Amelia's afternoon at home with our family. Too tired to write much, but the pictures speak for themselves: We have our sweet girl back! :) Drs. said the general swelling that remains around her head will be completely gone in a week to ten days.





Home Soon

Well, we're on our approach to land home sometime this afternoon. The swelling has continued to subside and we're seeing just a little bit more of Amelia's beautiful eyes. Wes and I managed to give her a quick sponge bath - which she was not enamored with - and now we're waiting for her to finish her nap before final items are put in order for her discharge. As you can see in the pic, she's managed to find that smile when she's feeling OK which thrills us!

We are so grateful for our family and many friends who have walked with us so closely through this. As we've walked the halls both of the PICU and Peds ward and seen the many other children and families who may not have anticipated being here, we are reminded of the gift of community during difficult times. Thank you for bearing this burden with us. We pray that other kids and their families receive the same gift of healing and wholeness as we have experienced.

As you pray, we'd also ask that you pray for Amelia's transition with Mya and Owen. We're quite sure they will be thrilled to see her, but she does look a bit different and has some nice stiches on her head. Please also pray for Wesley in particular to get the much needed rest she needs.

We'll send out one or two more posts in the days to come and then some later given her follow ups with the doctors here...

Monday, September 10, 2007

Just a little peek

Earlier tonight Amelia was able to open her left eye! It was just a little bit--enough to recognize Mommy and Daddy making faces at her and respond with a quick grin. Brian said she also caught a giimpse of Monday night football which he had on mute. :) Her right eye was only able to open a tiny slit, but trying so hard! She has had more moments of pleasant wakefulness--cuddling with Mommy, being kissed and tickled by Daddy, holding on to her little silver rattle, and finding comfort from nursing. Afterward she gets cranky and it takes a good bit of effort to get her to settle down for a nap. (She also weighs so much more right now because of her swelling that Wesley should have some serious "guns" by the time she goes home).

Praises from today:
- congestion has tapered off
- swelling has decreased some
- eyes can peek!

I would write more but I am literally falling asleep whie I type...

Unwrapped

The plastics team (including Dr. Van Aalst) visited Amelia this morning and removed her head wrap. Her incision looks like a wavy train track that goes on the top of her head from one ear to the other. She had a pretty good night, nursed well a few times and was only needing Tylenol. She even started doing some of her normal "Amelia" things like sucking her thumb, and with the swelling starting to go down just a bit, she looks slightly more like herself. Dr. Van Aalst said she might possibly be able to go home tomorrow, but I definitely don't want to rush it. He said we should start to see marked differences in the swelling in half day incriments today and tomorrow.

On the down side, her tummy has been very bloated which they are saying is caused by a build up of gas (most likely due to the antibiotics) and this morning she has some nasal congestion which makes it hard for her to nurse or suck her thumb or paci. She was pretty upset either about that or maybe still in some pain so we gave her some Oxycodone this morning. She finally settled down a few minutes ago.

Prayer requests for Amelia today:
-For the congestion to clear so she can breathe, eat and be comforted
-For her gas to subside and her tummy to feel better
-For appropriate pain meds (not too much, not too little)
-For the swelling to subside everywhere and her eyes to open!
-For God to continue healing her in every way from this ordeal

Thank you all for your continued prayers for Amelia. We are so touched by your love for her and your encouragement.

Sunday, September 9, 2007

A Room with a View

Amelia was moved up five floors to the regular peds floor around 5 p.m. She's seems to be doing well on less meds--still resting comfortably, and she even nursed a while ago. Some of the swelling around her eyes has moved down to the lower part of her face, but she still can't open them yet. I also now have some "sympathy swelling" in my ankles and feet as only a mother can. :)

I'm feeling pretty exhausted and a bit overwhelmed without the help of the wonderful people in the PICU--so Brian decided to make a bed of blankets on the floor and stay here with us tonight. What a great dad.

She's stirring, better sign off now.

Resting

After the breathing ordeal last night Amelia continued to have a some "stridor" in her breathing this morning (it sounded like a little gasp/squeak at the end of each breath). Right now, she is resting and her breathing has quieted--a very tangible answer to prayer! She has been sleeping a lot, probably due to the frequent doses of morphine she was getting yesterday and last night. The doctors who evaluated her this morning said they'd like to see her more awake, so they are cutting back on the morphine and giving her Tylenol and Oxycodone (sp?) which is also a narcotic but apparently not a strong. It is tricky to figure out how to give someone her age just enough pain meds without over-medicating. She has had two wakeful times this morning during which she took some small bottles of breast milk, the rest of the time she has been asleep.

I think overall Amelia probably feels lousy, but she seems to be comforted quickly by our voices and our touch. She doesn't seem afraid, just really really grumpy. The swelling in her face (and all over) has increased, which I know is hard to imagine, but Dr. Van Aalst assures us that today is the peak day for that and tomorrow we should start to see the swelling go down.

Thank you for praying for her breathing specifically. Please continue to pray that her airway remains open and also that the doctors/nurses can decide on what and how much medication to give her so that she will be more wakeful, but not hurting.

Lastly, please pray for her to breastfeed soon. We've tried a few times, but she is so mad when she's awake that she has actually bitten me twice (ouch!), so I am pumping and giving it to her in little bottles. I'm hoping as the swelling goes down in the days to come she will be more relaxed and feel more "normal" about it. And pray that if at all possible she/we will not develop a thrush infection as a biproduct of the antibiotics she is currently taking.

Mostly just pray for Amelia (and us) to endure these tiring days. We are grateful that her healing has already begun and looking forward to getting over the "peak" tomorrow.

Just Breathe

While I was holding Amelia a little while ago, her airway became even more constricted and she started to turn blue. Her night nurse (Olivia) was already here with me and she and the respiratory team acted quickly to give Amelia oxygen and her color returned. They then gave her two breathing treatments to try to open up her airway.

Since she needs to focus on breathing and is not showing much interest in eating, we're going to try leaving her in the bed and soothing her there next time she wakes. Her lungs are fine, but it's her upper airway that is constricted. Right now she is just swollen all over from the trauma of the surgery. When I pick her up she feels so heavy and puffy. If her airway looks anything like her face right now, I can understand why it would be difficult to breathe! There is a chance if her breathing gets worse that they'd have to intubate her again which would be hard, but not as hard as not breathing.

As you read this please take a moment to pray for Amelia's breathing--Praise God for His peace which allowed both Amelia and her Mommy to stay relatively calm through all of this. Pray that the swelling in her upper airway would decrease and allow her to take big healthy breaths.

Saturday, September 8, 2007

Afternoon Update

Thank you everyone for reading, praying and for sending your comments and emails. Your words of encouragement are really helping us through this experience. We feel surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses reminding us constantly of God's power, strength and care.

Amelia has had some more peaceful naps lasting hour or two. It was sort of funny earlier today because she was moving her arms and legs but her eyes were still shut, so we just thought she was moving around in her sleep. Then we remembered that she couldn't open her eyes and realized that she was actually awake! She rested in my arms a few times, although she didn't nurse, and Brian also held her for a few minutes. She did drink some breastmilk from a bottle a little while ago. The nursing staff seems to be staying on top of her meds so that the pain "doesn't get ahead of her" as it did last night. All of our nurses have been wonderful with Amelia and we are so grateful for that. When she is awake, Amelia is fussy and uncomfortable, so we spend a lot of time singing and talking to her and generally trying to keep her calm.

Dr. Van Aalst stopped by and said that, although last night was rough that is not uncommon after this type of procedure, and she appears to be doing fine medically speaking. He said she could possibly move up to the regular peds floor tonight. She is still having some difficulty breathing and had one breathing treatment, so moving makes me a bit anxious, but we'll see how things go. If they need the PICU beds for more critical patients, they will send us on our way. Dr. Van Aalst was encouraging us by saying we will have much more freedom to hold Amelia and snuggle with her once we are on the regular peds floor. He also reminded us that the swelling will likely get worse tomorrow and not start to decrease until Monday. :( It's already pretty bad, poor thing.

Thanks for continuing to lift up Amelia and our family in prayer. You can also say a prayer for Brian's mom (Nancy) who is now at home with Mya and Owen. My mom visited us here at the hospital today and my dad and Elly will be coming by later.

That's all for now. Love to everyone. Thank you again for being with us on this journey. -Wes

Picture from the PICU


We debated whether or not to put this picture out there as it might be unsettling to some of you (we have sort of gotten used to seeing Amelia look like this since yesterday). Brian said, "She just looks like she's got on a lot of eye shadow and a bonnet." Her eyes have swollen shut which means when she wakes up she will probably be really mad and may get agitated again. Pray that she can settle down enough to really nurse when she wakes up. That will help to comfort her as well as fill her hungry belly.

The fact that I (Wesley) am posting means that she has settled down for the moment. Her breathing is still a little labored, but some of the meds they have given her have allowed her to calm down and sleep a bit. I also got to take a shower, if you can believe that. ;)

Please let Brian's previous post and this picture inform your prayers for Amelia today. The nurse said she will be in the PICU for another 24 hours because last night was so rough. We're fine with that because there is a 2:1 nurse to patient ratio here. Also the "Grey's Anatomy" types just made their rounds this morning, discussing Miss Amelia's case. :)

Thank you for all your prayers. The nearness of Jesus to us in these moments is very tangible. The hymn playing right now reminds me...

Turn your eyes upon Jesus, Look full in His wonderful face
And the things of earth will turn strangely dim
In the light of His glory and grace

We could never endure this, Amelia could never endure this without Jesus.

Early Morning Update

Amelia is OK, but it hasn't been a perfect night... heart rate has been a bit high and she also has had bouts of wrestling and crying... probably a wide combination of discomfort, hunger, swelling, and not being in her typical environment. The crying and earlier irritation from her breathing tube has likely caused some inflammation in her throat, so she's having some raspy, labored breathing. She certainly quieted down after a low dose of sedatives, but the physician is not inclined to do more on that front because she really was konked out. Wesley is holding her and singing quietly right now, which is working well. Amelia's facial swelling has increased a good bit too, which is to be expected. Please pray this morning:

a. that the staff would best determine how to layer in the meds
b. that Amelia's throat would clear
c. that her heart rate would come down a bit
d. that she would settle and get good rest
e. that she would begin to nurse at the right time
f. for us to keep persevering; I had a little under 4 hrs. of sleep and Wes had about 1.5 hrs.

Isaiah 40 has been a comfort to me between 4 and 6am this morning. Verse 11 in particular reminds me/us:

"He tends his flock like a shepherd; He gathers the lambs in His arms and carries them close to His heart; He gently leads those who have young."

Jesus has, without a doubt, been our gentle Shepherd.

BW

Unrest

So far this night has not been as restful as we'd hoped. Amelia is having some pain, even with pain meds, and her heart rate is a bit high. She was able to nurse earlier tonight for a while which calmed her down, but she has been unsettled for the past hour or so. They have just given her a small dose of a sedative to help her cal m down. This is hard. Please continue to pray for the peace of Christ to be on and over her. Pray for rest for us all. Thanks.

Friday, September 7, 2007

In the PICU

Amelia just got moved to the PICU where she has a private room and at the moment we are both allowed to be here with her. She is resting relatively peacefully although sometimes she makes a tiny cry. She has a lot of monitors going and every now and then one of them goes "BONG" really loudly which alerts the nurses if something is higher than normal--then whatever it is usually goes back to normal on its own. Our nurse right now is named Rebecca, and she was very informative and helpful about explaining everything and even got us something to drink.

Right now we are listening to a harp CD of hymns that my dad gave us by a woman who plays "theraputic music" in the hospital where he used to work. It is definitley creating a peaceful environment for us and, although her ears are relatively covered by her bandages, we hope it is soothing to Amelia.

The gauze netting that goes around Amelia's head wrap and down around her neck makes her look somewhat regal. Even though she is starting to have some swelling, we think she looks so beautiful!

The night nurse just came on duty and a doctor also came and checked her out. She seems to be doing as well as can be expected. She has a little fever which is common after these surgeries. She was also crying a little more so they are giving her some more pain meds. The doctor said the hope is for a restful night, then for her to become more awake and be able to breastfeed tomorrow and be moved to the regular peds floor if all is going well.

Please pray for a peaceful night for all of us and healing for our sweet girl.

Update from Brian

Hi folks, it's been wonderful to receive your messages throughout the day and know that you are journeying with us. Thank you.

As Wes suggested, this is the tough part right now as we're feeling slightly helpless. The nurse commented that she would like to see Amelia wake up a bit more at this point, though the anesthesiologist suggested her vitals are fine. It's slightly unclear if the pain meds and how they are delivering them might be contributing to this. Neurosurgery folks will drop by within the half hour to assess her. We are just eager to see her move to the PICU with a good report. Would you please pray that we would get out of the way when we need to, ask the right questions and press when we need to, and never forget to lean into the Lord?

Thank you for continuing to pray with us. This is the real work, isn't it? Many times it feels like prayer is something we conjure up to make ourselves feel better... but increasingly we are learning that prayer puts us in the right posture to "let God be God": one that includes waiting, trusting, honesty, and hope in and with our God who is good and sovereign.

We'll keep posting as things progress...

BW

4:20 pm In the PACU

I just finally got to go back and see Amelia, and Brian is with her for the first time right now. She is in the post surgery area, and waiting for a bed in the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit. I'm not fully sure what PACU stands for (post-surgical ??? unit) but that's where she is.

Seeing her was the most emotional part of this day yet. She has a big head wrap (of course) and her face has already started to swell somewhat. She has a lot of "lines" and some of them are in her lower abdomen and one in her chest (this probably has something to do with the difficulty they had putting them in). She also has a catheter because they want to monitor her fluids/swelling. Can't see much of her head but her forhead looks flatter and she definitely looks "different" which is also partly because of the swelling. She cried out while I was there which was troubling, but the nurse took that as a cue to start her post-surgical pain meds. The nurse, Janine, said the will move her to the PICU as soon as there is a bed available. She will be there for a day or two, then on to the pediatric floor.

Dr. Van Aalst said the swelling is the hardest part for everyone, (her eyes will llkely swell shut), and it will increase over the next day or two, then get better.

I am not discouraged--it was great (and also surreal) to see her post-op, but it was also sobering to realize that she (and her parents) have a rough few days ahead. Please rejoice with us and continue to lift us all up before the Lord.

Brian is back. I'm off to see her again. They said one of us can stay with her at all times now so we'll do shifts...

All Finished!

3:20pm Dr. Van Aalst just came out and told us she is all finished and it went very smoothly. She is in recovery and we will be able to go see her soon (one of us at a time). Thanks for praying us through the waiting and Amelia through the surgery. We'll keep you posted on her recovery today and over the coming days. Praise God for His great care for Amelia!

1:15 p.m.

There is a phone in the waiting room that the nurses in the O.R. use to update families. It rings REALLY LOUDLY and there is always the suspense of WHO IS IT FOR? Also, there are nurses and doctors coming and going from the O.R. area to talk to families who are waiting and they sort of burst out of the doors looking---and we keep wondering, is this for us??? We need to eat lunch, but my stomach is jumping every time one of these things happens!

Finally a few minutes ago OUR nurse called from the O.R. to report that Dr. Perry had finished removing the bones and that now Dr. Van Aalst (craniofacial surgeon) is working on reshaping them. They said Amelia is doing fine, and we have to take their word for it. Praise God for the safe completion of this first part of the procedure...the rest could take up to another 3 hours. Very delicate work. We'll update when we have anything to report....

Noon Update

About 11 o'clock we called the nurse to see if they had any info on Amelia and they said it had taken them a long time to get the lines in (for anesthesia) and that the surgery itself was really just getting started. Not sure why it took so long except for chubby arms and tiny veins...but they assured us that she is doing fine. She was just taking a really long nap (head intact) while all of that was going on. As I'm typing we just got a call from the OR nurse saying that they are about an hour into the surgery and that she is doing great. Thanks for the prayers and notes as we wait...

From the waiting room...

Yay! We have internet access in the waiting room!

Just a brief update. The anesthesiologists took Amelia back to the O.R. about ten til eight. She had fallen asleep in Mommy's arms in the pre-surgery waiting area and was still groggy so she didn't cry at all!

Thursday, September 6, 2007

Prayer Requests for Amelia's Surgery



After the excitement of finding out today, Brian and I looked at each other and said, "Wait a minute. Why are we so excited about our baby having her head cut open?" This is a BIG DEAL and we covet your prayers.

We're heading to the hospital tomorrow morning at 6:30 a.m. and the surgery is scheduled for 7:30. Dr. Van Aalst is the craniofacial surgeon and Dr. Perry is the pediatric neurosurgeon. The surgery should last 4-5 hours. My mom will be home with Mya and Owen and Brian's parents will wait it out with us at the hospital.

Here is a general description of the surgery tomorrow (from a pamphlet about craniosynostosis)

The surgical technique for correcting the problem varies with the
type of craniosynostosis, but all have certain things in common.
Surgery is only considered for these children after a pediatrician,
trained in this field, certifies the child can tolerate the anesthesia
and the operation. One of the greatest risks to the child comes from
the general anesthetic. It is necessary for an anesthesiologist, well
experienced in this type of surgery in young children, to be present
during the entire procedure. The surgery is usually performed by two
specialists working together. One is a craniofacial surgeon and the
other is a pediatric neurosurgeon. The craniofacial surgeon is a
plastic surgeon who has received additional training in pediatric
craniofacial surgery. It is common for an incision to be made in the
hair from one ear to the other ear, across the top of the head. This is
usually the only scar from surgery. The hair usually hides the scar.
After this incision is made, the neurosurgeon removes the affected
areas of the skull and forehead. The craniofacial surgeon reshapes
these bones and returns them to a normal position. Once the
procedure is finished, the incision is closed usually with dissolving
sutures. The child is then taken to the pediatric intensive care unit.
The routine is different among the various centers. Children
typically spend the first night or two in the intensive care unit. They
then go to the regular pediatric floor. Children are normally sent
home on the third to fifth day following surgery. Generally, children
experience only minor discomfort from this operation. There is little
pain from the cutting of skull bone. By the second day after surgery,
most children need nothing more than Tylenol. It is also common for
both eyes to swell shut for about three days after surgery. Not being
able to open one’s eyes annoys the child the most. After the child is
discharged from the hospital, the family may be asked to stay in the
area for another few days before returning home. This allows the
treating doctors to make sure there is a good chance that there will
be no major complications. Between six weeks to three months after
surgery, the child returns for follow-up visits. The surgeon usually
sees the child once a year thereafter.


Here are some specific ways you can pray for Amelia tomorrow (these are cut and pasted from last time):

--That Amelia will respond well to the anesthesia.
--That the surgeons will use great skill and be completely focused on Amelia during the various stages of the surgery and that there would be no unexpected complications.
--That her body would respond well to the surgery and begin the healing process immediately.
--That the pain medications would work appropriately.
--That as she begins to wake up from the surgery she would not feel panicked or afraid, but that the Holy Spirit would envelop her and cradle her, especially when we can't.
--That when her eyes are swollen shut in the days that follow that she would be comforted by our voices, our touch, and our scents.
--That we would experience the comfort and presence of Jesus throughout all of this.

Lastly, Amelia has been experiencing a lot of "stranger anxiety" recently and today she was very skeptical and downright afraid of the doctors and nurses at the hospital during the pre-op. Pray for peace within her little being and comfort from her parents but also from Jesus himself. Also pray for her parents not to be traumatized by letting her go into the O.R. if she is upset about it.

Thanks for reading, praying and loving our family through this!

Surgery is ON for tomorrow!

Whew! What a morning it's been...

Got a call from the scheduler this morning just as I was about to take Owen's first day of school pictures. (Nice timing!) She told me the verdict for tomorrow is a NO. I took a deep breath (I had prepared myself for this) and reiterated that we would just set our sights on Oct 5th. She then hit me with the fact that actually neurosurgery had NOT saved that date and so we have no OR availability. No date.

I took the kids to school where and afterwards I shed some tears and prayed with some friends there at the school. (Thank you for them, Lord).

Came home. Fed Amela. Made some phone calls, trying to figure out how this all happened and how we can get a new date... I started typing the update for the blog... :( The phone rings and it's Kelly (that's the OR scheduler's name). She's laughing and says, "Wesley, I don't know what you did, but Amelia is back on for tomorrow!" She told us to bring her in for a pre-op this afternoon at 2.

As I am typing...Kelly calls to tell me more good news: Amelia is going to be the first case, 7:30 a.m. tomorrow.

We'll update with more specifics tonight after her pre-op... YAY!!!

Update 12:30 What really happened... I just spoke with Susan, Dr. Perry's nurse (pediatric neurosurgeon). Dr Perry's case for tomorrow was cancelled due to an infection in that child. This opened up the O.R. and made him available to do Amelia's case! While we rejoice at an opening for Amelia, we also pray for that family as we know firsthand the disappointment they are feeling right now.

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

"Not looking good"

I called the O.R. scheduler a few minutes ago just to ask if she had any sense for whether Amelia's surgery would NOT be happening on Friday. (I would have restrained myself from calling, except my mom is flying up tomorrow and I wanted to let her know if she should still come.) So her answer was that she really won't know until Thursday morning. Then she said, "I can tell you this: it's not looking good. But I'm doing the best I can."

So what your telling me is that it probably won't happen, but there's a chance it will?
Unlikely, but still possible?
We're not closing the book on this one yet?
Never say never?

Pretty much.

There are plenty of stories in the Bible when something that was UNLIKELY to happen happened because of the power of God. And there are plenty of stories where God allowed things to happen and did not intervene.

That brings me back to the question of how I should pray when things are "not looking good". All I can come up with is "Lord, help me to trust you." Is it ill-advised to hope for what we want in a situation like this? I don't think so. Do I have a right to be disappointed if what is "unlikely" doesn't happen? Not really. Can I take all of this to the throne of God? Yes!

So please, as you wonder with us over the next few days what is or isn't going to happen on Friday, just take it to God. Carry Amelia before His throne and pray as you feel led. Your prayers mean SO MUCH to us in the midst of this uncertainty.

And while you're prayin', say one for Amelia's big sister and brother too! Mya's first day of kindergarten is tomorrow and Owen will have his first day of preschool on Thursday. Whatever happens with Amelia, it's a big week around here! :)

Love to all. I won't post again until I have an answer.

Saturday, September 1, 2007

Six Months Old Today




Amelia's six month birthday is today! She is happy as can be--except when she's bothered by the two teeth about to come in on top. She is becoming more and more interactive with her big brother and sister, and she immediately looks for them when she hears their voices (which can make her really distracted while she is nursing). She has also become more adept at rolling over, so now we find her in all kinds of unique sleeping positions after her naps. She is working on sitting up and Mya and Owen roll with laughter when she tips over. She brings so much joy to our family!

We are hoping the surgery will be a go for this Friday, the 7th, and we'll update the blog as soon as we know for sure.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Thanks for asking...

Many people have been asking if there is any news about Amelia's surgery, but we are truly in a holding pattern until next Thursday when we will find out whether or not an O.R. is available on the 7th. It's even hard for me to know how to pray, but it usually goes something like this, "Lord, it would be really wonderful if Amelia would be able to have her surgery next Friday, and we are asking you to provide an O.R. and to keep her healthy in that case. But I have seen time and again, your ways are not my ways. Help me to trust you."

As much as I want Amelia's surgery to be done on Sept. 7th, I have to be careful not to put my hope in that specific date, but in Jesus. Hebrews 11 says that faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. I am NOT sure that her surgery will take place next Friday, but I am CERTAIN that the God who came to redeem a broken world has it in mind to heal our baby girl and see her whole and complete whether that be in September, October or on the day she sees His face in heaven. It's only the timing that's up in the air...

Psalm 31:14-15 But I trust in you, O Lord; I say, "You are my God." My times are in your hands.

In your prayers for us, thank God that He has kept Amelia healthy since her cold, and ask Him to make a way for her surgery to take place at just the right time. Thanks so much for your prayers and support! We promise to update you all as soon as we know something next week...

Sunday, August 19, 2007

Nineteen Days

As of today Amelia is officially healthy again. Nineteen days since she first started sneezing and sniffling. Incidentally it is also nineteen days until her new surgery date (we hope!) of September 7th. So my apologies to everyone who we may interact with over the next two and a half weeks. If I seem to treat you or your children like they are harboring the plague, please forgive me---I'm a mom on a mission.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

We have a date...sort of

I spoke with the OR scheduler this morning and she said we now have a date of September 7th for Amelia's surgery.

This is definitely an answer to prayer since the surgeon's schedule is so booked. There are several issues, however. Amelia is now scheduled as what's called "best case". Apparently the regular OR "block time" on that day belongs to neurosurgery and Dr. Perry (the pediatric neurosurgeon) has another case already scheduled in that slot. Dr. Ewend and Dr. Van Aalst are both available on that day, but the question is whether an OR will be available. (Dr. Ewend is the chief of neurosurgery whom we met with several months back. He routinely performed these surgeries with Dr. Van Aalst prior to Dr. Perry's arrival.) Amelia's status as "best case" means that we will not find out until the day before whether or not she is a go for the 7th. Her pre-op appointment is now scheduled for 12:45 on Thursday Sept 6th and we should find out an answer at that point.

The scheduler is still holding the October 5th date for Amelia as a back up in case the surgery on the 7th does not work out. She could not give me any idea what the odds are for her actually having the surgery on Sept 7th. (FYI--after Dr. Van Aalst's scheduling glitch last month, he had tried to get Amelia in as a "best case" on that Thursday, August 2nd, but there was no OR availability that day.)

Meanwhile Mya will start kindergarten on August 30th or 31st (we don't get to find that out until the day before either!) and Owen will start preschool on September 10th. Healthwise we are all doing better, except for Amelia whose runny nose is still lingering.

So that's the news...thanks for your continued prayers!

The obvious prayer requests are
1. That Amelia is in full health for September 7th
2. That an OR will be available on that date

Now for a few pictures. :)

Here is a lovely picture of the top of Amelia's head which shows the narrowness that will be corrected.


And here's just another pretty picture of our sweet girl.

Thursday, August 9, 2007

Pieces of the puzzle

The roller coaster ride continues. Yesterday the O.R. scheduler told me the first available date for the surgery is October 5. Brian and I then sent an email to Dr. Van Aalst (who is on vacation for two weeks) asking if there is any chance the date would be sooner. He wrote back quickly and said he would speak to her about getting the surgery done in late August or early September. No idea when we'll hear the final word on any of this.

Meanwhile I am attempting the nearly impossible feat of keeping our family germ-free, realizing that Amelia could catch something from which lingering symptoms could lead to another cancellation of a surgery even a few weeks away... (She is still sniffling with her cold which she started a week ago). While I recognize that I have little to no control over this in reality, I still feel the need to be as vigilant as possible about hand washing and about what I allow the kids to be exposed to. Already it is exhausting. Of course Owen decided to celebrate his birthday today with a trip to the doctor because his cold had worsened an he had spiked a fever. He's now on antibiotics, poor guy. We also made the heartbreaking decision not to attend Brian's brother's wedding this weekend (Brian will attend without us) because several family members have had viruses recently.

Another interesting piece of this puzzle is Mya (who now appears to be healthy, thankfully!). She will be starting kindergarten in the end of August and the timing could possibly conflict with Amelia's surgery. In that situation, I know my mom would step in and do a wonderful job, but I still feel incredibly torn at the idea of not being there to support Mya through such a major transition (she has never even been to preschool).

I know in my heart that God really is in control of all of this and that there is no sense in me worrying about it, yet I wear myself out daily doing just that. I can't wait for the day when I can look back on this crazy time and say, "Wow, that was tough, but God really carried us through."

Psalm 61:5-8 Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation. He is my fortress, I will not be shaken. My salvation and honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge. Trust in him at all times, O people, pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.

Monday, August 6, 2007

Hope Deferred

No news on a surgery date today.

I have made calls to the new case manager (our original case manager is leaving UNC) and to the OR scheduler, and I have no answers on a new surgery date. I expressed to both of them my hope that the surgery could be rescheduled sometime this month, before Mya and Owen start school--expecting that a whole army of germs will be entering our household once they do.

My conversation with the OR scheduler was disappointingly familiar--she told me she is waiting to hear back from neurosurgery. (This was the person I pestered weekly for months until we finally secured our Aug 3rd date). I asked if she could give me a ballpark date and she said AT LEAST September because Dr. van Aalst already has cases booked ahead of us in August.

Meanwhile Owen and Mya keep asking me if they are allowed to kiss Amelia yet.

So here's my verse for today: Proverbs 13:12
Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.

Let me just be honest and say I think this whole thing STINKS....the colds, the decision to postpone, the waiting, wondering, and worrying...The first half of that verse pretty much sums it up. At least I know God gets it.

Friday, August 3, 2007

No Surgery Today

Well, we're back home already. After checking her vitals, we met with Dr. van Aalst and the anesthesia team. Amelia's cold had not worsened since last night, but she is still slightly stuffy with occasional sneezing. As the team explained, her cold increases risks of other infections post surgery - including pneumonia - and while she was "OK" enough that they would have performed the surgery had we said yes, both Dr. van Aalst and the lead pediatric anesthesiologist said they would opt not to do it today if they were in our shoes. So the clear choice was to wait. Dr. van Aalst suggested we would be on the priority list and that we would be scheduled within the coming month (but not the next two weeks). We should know early next week.

So THANKS for all the prayers. While we're disappointed, we know God has this figured out and that this will happen at the right time. We'll keep the blog updated as we find out about a new date and other developments. Until then...

Thursday, August 2, 2007

Tomorrow Morning

We are planning to take Amelia to the hospital as planned at 6:30 am to check in for her surgery. At that time the anesthesiologists and the surgeons will determine if there is any reason why she is not healthy enough to undergo the surgery. If she is healthy enough, they will proceed as planned and the surgery will take up to five hours. If the surgery is cancelled we will come home and immediately update the blog to let you all know. Otherwise please pray for Amelia tomorrow morning as she undergoes the surgery.

Some ways to pray:

--That Amelia will respond well to the anesthesia.
--That the surgeons will use great skill and be completely focused on Amelia during the various stages of the surgery and that there would be no unexpected complications.
--That her body would respond well to the surgery and begin the healing process immediately.
--That the pain medications would work appropriately.
--That as she begins to wake up from the surgery she would not feel panicked or afraid, but that the Holy Spirit would envelop her and cradle her, especially when we can't.
--That when her eyes are swollen shut in the days that follow that she would be comforted by our voices, our touch, and our scents.
--That we would experience the comfort and presence of Jesus throughout all of this.

We are definitely feeling surrounded by the prayers of so many people--many who don't even know us or Amelia personally--and we are so very grateful.

We will update the blog as we are able tomorrow and afterward.

Amelia's First Cold

Amelia definitely has a cold. She probably has some postnasal drip, because she has a rattling cough. Her nose sounds a bit stuffy, and she is sneezing a lot, but it is not runny (so far). She does not have a fever.

At 4:30 a.m. (after I fed her) I was on my knees, crying out to God to heal her or somehow allow the surgery to go on as scheduled. (It still may be possible depending on how she is doing.)

Ironically this is her first cold.

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

Five Months Old!





Today is Amelia's 5 month birthday. These are the pics I would usually email to family and friends, but since everyone is already checking the blog...here they are! As you can see, now she can not only suck her thumb, but her toes as well! And yes, after five months she now has her very OWN teddy bear and no longer using stand-ins from her big sister. ;)

The kids are colds are still pretty bad--snot is everywhere. I must have washed my hands a thousand times today between caring for them and then for Amelia. They are being really careful about not touching her, which is sad, but also sweet.

As for Miss Amelia, she is doing okay--she has been sneezing a lot though, which worries me, and tonight when I was tucking her into bed she had a little stuffy sound in her nose. I'm trying not to freak out because as much as I dread handing her over to the surgeons on Friday, the thought of having to postpone it feels like death to me.

With the scheduling roller coaster and now the threat of illness, I have been hit time and again with waves of uncertainty this week. I have those moments of panic where my heart sinks down into and my stomach...

A friend sent me Isaiah 26:3-4.

You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast because he trusts in you.
Trust in the LORD forever, for the LORD, the LORD, is the Rock eternal.


...in those moments of panic, that verse has come back to me again and again. (Nothing like a little crisis to get you to memorize some scripture!) In the midst of so much uncertainty there is no way for me to find peace EXCEPT in the Lord. So much is beyond my control. But when, by His grace, I am able to shift my focus to the Lord instead of my circumstances, I DO find peace. I may not have control over all of this, but He does! And I truly believe that He has Amelia's best in mind and that He knows far better than I do when this surgery needs to happen.

So, trusting in Him, we DO continue pray for her health and for the surgery to be Friday if at all possible.

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Surgery Set for Friday

We had Amelia's pre-op appointment this morning and we got a lot of our questions answered. The first thing Kim Uhrich told us when we came into the exam room was that the surgery is going to be Friday. The OR scheduler said Thursday is just too full. (This is good news because yesterday she told us we might not get a final answer until Wednesday afternoon!) We were so relieved to have the scheduling issue decided and not have to bring it up during our meeting with the surgeon. Also we found out she is the "first case" which means her surgery will be at 7 am or so, and I'll be allowed to feed her up until 3 am, which is very good news.

Kim went over a lot of specifics of the surgery and we signed some consent forms. Then they sent us up to pre-care where we met with someone from the anesthesiologist's team, and Amelia had to get blood draw. They tried to numb her arm with some ELMA cream but unfortunately they couldn't get the vein on the first try and had to try again on her un-numb arm. She cried..a lot, but it was over relatively quickly (even though it seemed to take forever at the time). We were comforted to realize that all of the other uncomfortable procedures that lie ahead will be done after she is under anesthesia.

After that we got a chance to meet with Dr. Perry (the pediatric neurosurgeon). He was very friendly and sweet with Amelia. She took to him and was touching his face and being sweet with him. Finally Dr. Van Aalst came in to meet with us (along with another RN and another MD who is doing a fellowship with him). He apologized again, and then gave us a very detailed description of how the surgery takes place. We felt very good about our interactions with both surgeons.

The only problem we now face is that BOTH Mya and Owen woke up this morning with pretty bad colds--sneezing and very runny noses! (Thanks to Kelly for risking the health of her own kids to care for our sickies while we were at the hospital). Needless to say, we are doing everything we can to prevent Amelia from getting it. Lots of hand washing and hand sanitizing and trying to get them to keep their distance, but it's tough because they love her so much! We want to keep her healthy without making them feel like lepers! The nurses told us that if she does get a cold, there is a chance the surgery would have to be postponed--especially if she were to get a fever. So that's our big prayer request for the day: PRAY FOR AMELIA TO STAY HEALTHY and Mya and Owen to get well quickly. My mom will arrive tomorrow night so she will be a big help in keeping the kids busy and away from Amelia.

So that's the latest. Keep the prayers coming--we definitely feel them carrying us through!!

Sunday, July 29, 2007

More About Amelia's Condition

Below is a more thorough explanation of Amelia's condition which I copied from a pamphlet on craniosynostosis from the Children's Craniofacial Association website. Most of this is information we've already learned in the past 5 months, but this is just a concise explanation for anyone who wants to know. There is also a detailed explanation of the surgery to inform your prayers for her.

But before we get to the boring medical stuff, here are some pics to enjoy! :)

Here is a picture of Amelia when she was just a few weeks old. You can sort of see the ridge on her forehead.



As she has grown the ridge on her forhead has become less noticeable (probably because we're too busy looking at those beautiful eyes!), but it is still there. It is easier to see the narrowness of her forehead when you look at her head from the top down, but since no one generally takes pictures of their kids from that angle, here are a few other ones instead.

Amelia and Daddy


"At the gym" with her big brother.


Chillin' with her big sis.



What Is Craniosynostosis?

Craniosynostosis is a medical term that literally means fused
bones of the skull. It is a condition that some children are born
with or later develop. The skull is abnormally shaped because of the
fusion of skull bones.

To better understand craniosynostosis,it is helpful to know that our
skulls are not made up of one single “bowl”of bone. Instead,
different bones that fit together like a jigsaw puzzle make up the skull.
The areas where the bones meet one another are called sutures. As a
baby grows, the brain rapidly increases in size. According to current
theories of growth, the growing brain pushing on the bones of the
skull causes the skull bones to expand or grow. Much of this growth
occurs in the areas of the sutures where the bones meet. When one of
the sutures fuse,it is called craniosynostosis. There will be no growth
in this area. This inability to grow in one area may lead to overgrowth
in another area. This results in an abnormally shaped skull.

There are numerous types of craniosynostosis. Different names
are given to the various types of craniosynostosis. The names
depend on which suture or sutures are involved.

(Amelia's condition is called trigonocephaly)

Trigonocephaly is a fusion of the metopic suture. This suture runs
from the top of the head,down the middle of the forehead,toward
the nose. Early closure of this suture may result in a prominent ridge
running down the forehead. Sometimes the forehead looks quite
pointed. It resembles the bow of a boat. Frequently, the eyes are
closer together.


What is the surgical procedure for repairing this condition?

The surgical technique for correcting the problem varies with the
type of craniosynostosis, but all have certain things in common.
Surgery is only considered for these children after a pediatrician,
trained in this field, certifies the child can tolerate the anesthesia
and the operation. One of the greatest risks to the child comes from
the general anesthetic. It is necessary for an anesthesiologist, well
experienced in this type of surgery in young children, to be present
during the entire procedure. The surgery is usually performed by two
specialists working together. One is a craniofacial surgeon and the
other is a pediatric neurosurgeon. The craniofacial surgeon is a
plastic surgeon who has received additional training in pediatric
craniofacial surgery. It is common for an incision to be made in the
hair from one ear to the other ear, across the top of the head. This is
usually the only scar from surgery. The hair usually hides the scar.
After this incision is made, the neurosurgeon removes the affected
areas of the skull and forehead. The craniofacial surgeon reshapes
these bones and returns them to a normal position. Once the
procedure is finished, the incision is closed usually with dissolving
sutures. The child is then taken to the pediatric intensive care unit.
The routine is different among the various centers. Children
typically spend the first night or two in the intensive care unit. They
then go to the regular pediatric floor. Children are normally sent
home on the third to fifth day following surgery. Generally, children
experience only minor discomfort from this operation. There is little
pain from the cutting of skull bone. By the second day after surgery,
most children need nothing more than Tylenol. It is also common for
both eyes to swell shut for about three days after surgery. Not being
able to open one’s eyes annoys the child the most. After the child is
discharged from the hospital, the family may be asked to stay in the
area for another few days before returning home. This allows the
treating doctors to make sure there is a good chance that there will
be no major complications. Between six weeks to three months after
surgery, the child returns for follow-up visits. The surgeon usually
sees the child once a year thereafter.

Friday, July 27, 2007

The Latest

Got a message from Kim Uhrich this afternoon that she has rescheduled Amelia's pre-op appointment for Tuesday morning at 8:30 a.m. She said the surgery will more than likely be on Friday, but moving the pre-op allows us to meet with Dr's Perry and Van Aalst ahead of time on the outside chance that the surgery does end up being moved to Thursday. She said she'd call me Monday and I'm guessing we'll have the final answer by then.

I wish I had time to write a thougthful entry about how today's events have affected my soul. One thing--trusting God when all my expectations fail and being reminded that He is the only one in control here. Now I'm off to pick up a fussy Amelia (who at the moment is being entertained by her big sis Mya), make dinner, clean up and spend the rest of the night baking birthday cakes for Mya and Owen's party tomorrow. That should be a fun diversion from all of this. ;)

Love to everyone. I'll post again when I know something certain about the surgery schedule or after the pre-op--whichever comes first.

Another Update

Between changing diapers, getting kids dressed and feeding Amelia I managed to call the case manager (Dr. Van Aalst's assistant, Kim) and ask what is going on. She said she knows I have made plans around the 3rd and would call me back. A few minutes later I got a call from Dr. Van Aalst himself and the first thing he did was apologize. He said that Amelia's care is his number one priority. He then went on to explain that he is NOT leaving town, but has another obligation in town on that Friday (I was too chicken to put him on the spot and ask him, but I will ask his Kim when she calls me again). He said he contacted the OR scheduler to see if he could do the surgery on Thursday afternoon, but if that is not possible then the Friday surgery still stands. He assured me that it will take place either Thursday or Friday of next week.

Still pray for the details of changes in pre-ops, my mom's ability to get here Wed instead of Thurs, and obviously for the surgery date to be finalized.

I will update again soon. Keep the prayers coming--they are working!!!

Urgent Prayer Request

A few minutes ago I received a call from the OR scheduler that Dr. Van Aalst will have to leave town next Friday August 3rd--Amelia's surgery date. Her surgery cannot take place on that day. She did not give me any explanation as why and I don't think she knows herself. She is going to be working hard to try to re-schedule the surgery for Thursday August 2nd--but this depends on a number of factors including OR availability and surgeon's schedules, not to mention re-scheduling the pre-op appointment. Dr Van Aalst will not be back in town until August 20th. I will be contacting Dr. Van Aalst's assistant as soon as I have a moment to try to make sense of this.

I feel like I have been kicked in the stomach.

Brian and I talked and he reminded me that God has Amelia's best in mind and He knew this was coming...

Please pray that we would get the surgery date that is best for Amelia, whether August 2nd or otherwise, and that we would continue to find our strength in the Lord.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Amelia Update



Our sweet girl will have surgery next Friday August 3, 2007. Her pre-op appointment, originally scheduled for tomorrow, has been changed to next Thursday, August 2nd.

After nearly five months of anticipation and dread, we are only one week away from this big event. And our little Amelia has no idea what she is about to go through...

Tonight we took her to church where some of the elders spent time praying over her and our family. One person prayed that the Holy Spirit would hover over Amelia during the surgery and another prayed that she would sense the Lord's presence as if it were her own mother or father there with her during the surgery. During the prayer she sat sweetly sucking on a teether and looking around smiling at whoever was praying. We know that these prayers and the prayers of many others will carry Amelia and us through this experience, and we are so grateful for the network of family and friends that God has provided to support us in this journey.

We'll keep you posted as things progress... In the meantime here are a few helpful links about the surgery:


Very helpful info for families of children with craniosynostosis

Info about the surgery

Info about the craniofacial surgeon, Dr. Van Aalst

Info about the pediatric neurosurgeon, Dr. Perry (sorry no picture)